After finishing last year’s race with a disappointing 31st place, US President Barack Obama proved that he is finally ready to replace legendary five times champion George W. Bush in the World Championship of Policy Making Insanity yesterday, after delivering a flawlessly incoherent speech as his State of the Union Address to Congress. Obama took full advantage of his chance and received this season’s first perfect ten from the judges after uttering the following masterpiece of mathematical absurdity:
"And our efforts to prevent a second depression have added another $1 trillion to our national debt. That, too, is a fact. I'm absolutely convinced that was the right thing to do. But families across the country are tightening their belts and making tough decisions. The federal government should do the same. (Applause.) So tonight, I'm proposing specific steps to pay for the trillion dollars that it took to rescue the economy last year."
Last year’s champion Muammar al-Gaddafi from Libya, commented on Barack Obama’s performance yesterday saying that opponents must now take the American contestant seriously. “I am sure that the judges were very impressed that President Obama was able to keep a straight face while saying something that any first grader would recognize as absurd. It is not easy to keep from laughing when you say something that stupid on live TV”, said Gaddafi, whose uncomfortably incoherent hour and a half speech in front of the UN General Assembly is regarded as one of the greatest moments in policy making insanity and helped him secure his second world title (he had won it previously in 1969 as a rookie).
Obama’s brilliance was recognized even by rival Republicans who gave him a generous ovation following his illogical remarks. Former Senator Phil Gramm, who coached the McCain/Palin team and is considered one of the 50 greatest policy stupidity makers of all time for his financial deregulation efforts, praised Obama’s performance while reminding American fans that the president did not win the coveted “Mary of Portugal” trophy last year: “I still think we could have brought the title home last year if our team had been representing America. Obama is not in the same league as a craziness virtuoso like Sarah Palin. In the world there is no one who refutes true by definition accounting relationships as effortlessly as she does. But he is learning. I see a lot of me in him”, said the former Senator who served as legislator both as a Republican and as a Democrat.
Obama’s disappointing season as a rookie last year caused a lot of revolt among fans of American policy stupidity, who took to the streets and organized manifestations across the county asking for the replacement of the American contestant. Analysts were doubtful that fans could ever support the inexperienced but talented Obama, who seemed at times uneasy telling economic absurdities and making the necessary disastrous policy decisions that would make him a world title contender. However, his strong performance yesterday may just be sufficient to reenergize policy stupidity in the US. Fans of policy lunacy icon Bush Junior, who retired from the sport after winning back to back titles in 2007 and 2008 (he had won three-peat titles from 2003 to 2005), now have a substitute who may be even more capable of massacring basic economic definitions without breaking a sweat.
Analysts believe that Obama may combine the best of both the Republican and Democratic schools of policy insanity. While Republicans have always mastered the art of comparing sovereign governments to households and blatantly ignoring true by definition national accounting identities that make it impossible for both the government and the non-government sector to “save more” at the same time, their “regular Joe” trademark image always limited the reach of their message. Obama repeats the same economic absurdities while speaking with the sophistication of a true intellectual. If he is able to keep up the level of his policy insanity at the level of his State of the Union address, Obama could make history as one of the policy insanity greats like Bush Junior, Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon and the great Herbert Hoover.
While this year’s race to the title of Policy Making Insanity Champion has only begun, fans of American policy insanity have plenty of reasons to be optimistic. Though the idea that Americans facing financial difficulties will be helped if the government reduces its deficit is a recipe for economic disaster, Obama’s chances to win the world title look stronger than ever. The millions of Americans who may be forced out of their jobs for no fault of their own but as a result of stupid economic policies will at least be able to rejoice from the fact that the US president will have reclaimed the title of most insane policy maker in the world.
*The author respects and admires the US president and hopes that the absurd statements about future policy decisions will not become actualized fiscal conservatism at a time when the health of the world's economy is too weakened to be attacked in such a way.
